Tuesday, February 1, 2022

DANI'S MEWSINGS ON COME-PAT-ABILITY

 Dani has made up a short guide for assessing the 'Come-Pat-Ability' of a Cat.  Mostly it's a work in pictures, but there are some aspects that require the written word.

These are the questions you should ask yourself before proceeding:

1.  Is the cat demonstrating an open PAWSture?  The answer should be Yes.

2.  Does the cat have a relaxed facial expression.   The answer should be Yes.

3.  Is the cat easily accessible?  The answer should be Yes.

4.  Did you hear your cat call to you?  If Yes, by all means it's a green light.  If No, ask the cat's PURRmission furst.  See additional questions below before proceeding.   
  

These are the questions one should ask their cat, in conjunction with the visual inspection, to ensure proPURR assessment:

Q.  What is your Primary Parent's first name?

A.  If it's anything other than 'Pat', you're already on shaky ground.

Q.  What is your Pet Name for your Primary Parent?

A.   If it's anything other than 'Pat', you're in the dog house. 

This is because your parent has demonstrated that they choose not to respond to you unless you use the name THEY want you to use, and the odds are still stacked against you numerically that it's Pat (even though Pat is generally acknowledged to be THE most popular moniker).

Here are some statistics based on the U.S. population which support these assertions:

Efurry cat deserves to have their parent come running when they yell "Come Pat!".  It is generally accepted that we are to be servants to our cat, so rather than having this command issued by the human, it is reserved solely for felines.

Dogs, on the other paw, are only too willing to come running when their human pack leader calls.  And they will generally respond to just about anything.  Dani loves dogs but it's a whole different culture.

So if you know what's in your best interests, you will follow these guidelines as best you can, so your cat will not CANCEL YOU!

Note:  Cancellation may be accompanied by additional punitive measures such as freefalling feline eliminations.  And those voids just keep on coming (they're hard to avoid).

THE END




6 comments:

Sandee said...

I love your sense of humor and now we know the right way and the wrong way. Well done.

Thank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.

Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. ♥

Kathe W. said...

Lucy always comes to me when I pat my leg and say yohoo LUCY!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

dani....wait til dada seez hiz coat ;) ☺☺☺♥♥

Brian said...

That was a good one sweet Dani, it explains a lot!

Foley Monster, Pocket and River Song said...

It seems being a cat is mighty complicated

ZOOLATRY said...

Does it count if your middle name is Pat?