Friday, October 29, 2021


 Dani has been working overtime to get ready for this week's comedy post.  She wants to become the poster cat for the absurd.

She has included some nods to Hallowe'en, though it's not her favourite occasion.  She prefers couture to costume, although she has made some allowances when it comes to this tomfoolery (even though she's not actually a Tom herself).

Dani has also undertaken an ongoing project which she calls "Soup to Nuts", basically pairing divergent characters with their favourite food.  Right now she is stuck on doctors, but will diversify in the near future.

By the way, Dani researches all the soups to make sure that they exist in reality.  You can test her by looking up the name of the soup on the Internet.  There are some really weird ones out there, like ...

Yeah, test its sight before you rip out its eyes and eat 'em!

Hey, Dani Ghoul -- you should try some Arctic Char 
while you're at it.

You're not so innocent.  You needle 'em (the eggs, that is) until they get the hell out!

Frankie's not exactly known for his table manners.  What he needs is a hot dog on a stick.

It was an "Inside Job".

Look Ma!  It's a dragonfly.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021


 Dani is distraught at all the leaves that are left on the ground after falling from the trees.  Many of them are still whole and bright with colour.

“I finks we cud provides releafs to a lotta peeples an’ dere pets if we yoosed dis wonnaful resorse” says Dani.

Yes, Dani I think you’re right.  

“We shud takes a lesson frum nachur.  Efun da teeniest creechurs has releafs by catchin' a ride frum fallin’ leafs.  Dey looks like dey is haffin’ a ball!”

I guess that ‘falls’ under the category of Entertainment, says I.

And speaking of having a ball, here is an innovative use of preserved autumn leaves.

“Yes” responds Dani.  “It wud adds ta any daycor.”

You can preserve autumn leaves or even green leaves with glycerin and then after they dry ...

          ... make a lovely autumn wreath for your front door.

"So daycor an' nite-cor, den"  adds Dani, trying hard to be helpful.

"Yoo kin also makes a pritty rezin bowl wif da bestest leafs." 

Either indoor or outdoor decor, says me.  And now we come to the part that Dani is most excited about:


All of these purrses are made from real leaves, along with other plant materials, into a leather-like substance.  They are also labelled 'Vegan' though you don't eat them, of course.

Red maple leaf tote

Amber and red maple leaf shoulder-purrse

They even make wallets, journals, credit card cases and other sundry items out of the real thing.

Vegan leather leaves animals out of the picture (in a good way).  

"Way ta go!  I doan wanna haff any pawt in bein' turned inta a PURRse efun doe dey is wunna my fafurite fings."


Good point, Dani.

"Ooh!  I reely likes dese wuns!!!  

This stunning necklace is made out of a genuine sugar maple leaf which has been dipped in iridescent coppurr.

"An' it efun has matchin' ear rings doe I'm not so fonda ear rings myself.  Whoo wonts ta haff ringin' in dere ears anyway?  Mama has ringin' in her ears, but she's jus' old" opines Dani.


Beleaf it or not, this one they call a fascinator.
"Well yoo hasta admits it IS fassinatin'!"

A Vegan Palm Leaf Hat
"Gess dey're gonna try ta palm dis off on sumbuddy
 but not me!"

And finally, (or finalement as they say in French) Dani is wearing her homemade leaf hat with both handcrafted necklace and purrse.

"Dat's not as WEARIN' as yoo tryin' ta show off yoor French" counters Dani.


"Ya, VWALA!!!  Wotevah dat is."


So ...

Some sayings just never get old. 

Pee Ess:  "Wot duz yoo call leafs dey lets sit on da ground?"


Good for advertising all your leafy creations.
Releaf efforts really never end.

(Sumfin like dis post)

Friday, October 22, 2021


 Dani's post is rife with toilet humour today, so I hope you all have the stomach for it!

Did Superman just use his fart as a booster rocket?

Dani's gonna make her ODDition in PURRison!

Like other huskies, I think you'd make a good sled-dog!

MUCH worse than a foot fetish methinks!

I swear I'm going to get you a "Do Not Disturb" sign!


Tuesday, October 19, 2021


 Dani gets upset with me sometimes because I always feel like I know what she is thinking.  And she constantly corrects me.  (See, there I go again!)

You see, Dani is a victim of 'anthropomorphism', the definition follows:

"Anthropomorphism is the attribution of human traits, emotions or intentions to non-human entities.  It is considered to be an innate tendency of human psychology." (Wikipedia)

 A simpler explanation for it is 'humanization'.

I think all pet owners are susceptible to this and their pets have fallen prey to it.  Even though it's a natural inclination, Dani tells me I take it to a whole new level.

Just look what she's had to put up with, right from when she was a tiny kitten!

"Mama startid off small (like me).  At furst it wuz jus' a swettah, but da swettah had feddahs an' a bilt in neckliss.  I didn't noes dis wuzn't normal -- I fawt efurrybuddy did dis."

"Now dis is ware Mama reely goes nuts.  Looks at dose feddahs on my head, an' dat perl neckliss an' a matchin' (well, sorta) purrse ta go wifs it.  She finks she's a fashun coordinatah or sumfin."

"I hates it wen she puts silleh hats on my head an' pretends I ackshully goes ta resterawnts. I finks I'm da wun who got da raw deal an' I doan mean sooshi.  An' den she has de ODD-ASSity ta put words in my mouf!"

"Mama decides I'm gonna be Scottish cuz dat runs in her fambly.  She hunts arownd fur all de ackcessories dat goes togeddah -- wot a waste a' time!  Besides I wuz born in Kwebec. 

Parlay-voo fronsay, Mama?"

Actually "Yes", I reply.  I learned to speak French when I worked for the federal government.
So Mama's good for something.

"Now heer Mama has reely gone beserk!  Not only has she giffed me a feasant feddah hat but she added a flyin' feasant, too.  An' becuz I hassa lepurred coat she put in da lepurred,  I gess she jus' fru in da tigah becuz it kinda matches dat purrse itz on toppa."

"O noes!  Mama maked me look like a fool.  I'm not supposta be a teddeh bear -- I fawt yoo fawt I wuz hooman!

Now, let me interject here.  Dani always graces our Christmas cards because it's a special time of year, and even cats like to get dressed up for the occasion, and play with the ornaments and such.  Nothing wrong with that, is there?

"Not if yoo wanna be dressed up like a Crismuss tree wif ornimints glooed ta yoor back!"

Dani also likes to celebrate New Years, starting on New Year's Eve, of course.

"If yoo says so" says Dani.

What a hullabaloo! says I.

"I doan efun noes wot a hullablue is"  she groans.  "An' ware's da catnip -- I doan drinks lickah.  I doan efun licks it.”

"An' tawks about dat anfropoor ... wotevah!  Acourse I doan eat chips an' needah duz chipmonks.  Dat's jus' Mama tryin' (an' I emfasizes TRYIN') to be clevah."

I guess you're not a chip off the old block then, Dani.

"Why is yoo da OLD block?" she asks.

And finally in another extreme example of anthropomorphism here's Dani having afternoon tea with Hello Kitty.  They each have their own pile of cookies."

"An' dat's a pile a' poo!" says Dani.

I guess I should let a cat be a cat then, shouldn't I? I ask.

And THIS is what cats do do!


Friday, October 15, 2021


 Dani starts off today in a lighter mood, but you'll find by the end that she has found her dark side.

One cat's milky froth is another's bubble bath.
  It's all a matter of PURRspective!

I'm with the hippo --   she has the MOVES!

This is a reiteration of one of my favourite jokes. You may vaguely remember it.

It's hard to tell -- is that lust or murderous intent?

I guess after that last one, Dani's got her just desserts -- even though the tourtiere is actually savoury.

Not to worry, though.  Dani's being reinCATnated at the moment and should be back in time
 for her regular post next week.