Friday, June 11, 2021

DANI: LILY LOVER’S LOWDOWN

Dani's always been afeared of spiders.  She is quite alarmed at the mere sight of one. 


However, being enveloped by the soothing scent of her favourite flower, the lily-of-the-valley, Dani is making an effort to valley-date herself by overcoming her phobia of spiders.

She figures if she just intones "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" repeatedly as she faces her fear it might help her put these little critters into PURRSpective.

Dani's strategy must have worked because now she is a "Tiger Lily" and you can no longer, in good conscience, call her lily-livered.  I guess she'll be moving to a bigger space. 


I have a sinking feeling a lily-pad just
 ain't gonna cut it anymore!



And now Dani has a new favourite flower. 
 Can't beat that, huh?


But you sure can join 'em. 
 So let’s all boogie to the Tiger Lily Beat!






Tuesday, June 8, 2021

TWO FACES OF DANI

Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), Dani is quite the character.

 Here she is exPURRessing herself in a most unusual way.
.  
There is, however, a problem with this.  She is actually having a conversation with her non-existent alter-ego.

Twin 1:  "Ha, ha, ha! Look at yoo wif yoor tongue out. 
               Drool much?"
              
Twin 2:  "Well, look at yoo wif yoor mouf wide open! 
               Dribble much?"

Why I guess one could say, with all sincerity, that they are the spitting image of one other.  

Twin Emojis
Double the drool, double the drivel

This is what happens when you put your
 whole world on dis spray!

Carpooling anyone?




Monday, June 7, 2021

DANI'S JOURNEY INTO JUNE

 Dani opines on the month of June.

"I'm kinda on da fence about June" says Dani.

And why would that be, Dani?  (In other words 'What Now?")

"Well, I absolootly LOVES all da flowahs, but ...

(Here it comes...)

... it's da June Bugs dat REELY bugs me."

I'm with you, Dani.  JUNIOR just has no sense of rhythm!








Friday, June 4, 2021

DANI INTENSIFIED!

 I always thought Dani’s PURRfume was ethereal, but right now she’s not purring and her fumes are quite dire — no doubt fuelled by her ire and her infernal (as well as internal) volatility.  And come to think of it ether doesn’t smell too nice either.

Purrhaps there’s even cause and effect going on here.  Ever heard of the gut-brain connection?

In other words the brain has a direct effect on the stomach and intestines.  They even have something called a Gut Intelligence Test now!  Sounds offal to me and my reaction is purely visceral, but maybe Dani would have the guts to take it.

Editor's Note 1:  Offal is basically organ meats, so don't tell us meat-eaters we're not into ORGANic! 


“Da only kinda offal I’d be takin’ is in my cat food.” says Dani.  “An’ I’m already gutsy enuff, fank yoo very much.”

“I’m off ta visit my Auntie Anxiety.  She always has sum good advice speshully wen it comes ta yoor innards.” says Dani very hopefully.

“Yup, my GIQ is in da 99th PURRcentile.” says Auntie Anxiety.
Editor’s Note 2:  GIQ = Gut Intelligence Quotient.

Dani pleads with her Auntie:  “Kin yoo help me deal wif my gas pain frum da PASSED, pritty pleas?”

“Sure, no problemo” says Auntie.  “I have some of my very own “Auntie Anxiety” treetmints, and they are completely holistic in nature.”

Dani’s carefree in that hole in a tree
Surrounded by nature and just left to be
Her 'gastrick' problems are now in the passed
‘Cause there’s no further fear of her being gassed

Pee Ess:  Dani's getting something offal after all.  It's part of Auntie Anxiety's holistic treetmint.  Get a load of "Grandma Lucy's Freeze-Dried Liver" treats. 

Editor's Note 3:  It would probably be best if you don't eat any of Grandma's Liver while she's still living 'cause then she couldn't live anymore. Unless, of course ...


... you have a nice bottle of Chianti and ... 


... some Fava Beans!

Then all bets are off.






Tuesday, June 1, 2021

DANI: IT'S THE LEASHED YOU COULD DO

Dada's looking worse for the wear.  Purrhaps that's because Dani can be rather wearing.

If that was the path of leashed resistance, I'd hate to see the path of unleashed resistance!  Sometimes Dani has a real cattitude which befuzzles Dada to bits.  

I always tell him "she's just a cat being a cat".  They don't take to our rules because they have their own which WE have to follow. Get it? 


Dani has something to say about all this:

 Cats is NOT da leashed among yoo -- our ancesstahs is 
Kings o' da Jungul.

Cats is not in da leashed bit shy ta let yoo noes wot's on dere minds an' we has a claws in our contrackt ta guarantee it.  See lion fur de tails.

 

Dis novice started frum scratch and dat's jus' frum a 'meek' liddle poosycat nevah mind a walk on da wild side.

Last but not leashed, cats duzn't like leashes or collahs fur dat mattah.  If yoo choose ta yoose one yoo best bee cawshus.


UNLESS da collah looks like mine acourse, wif a crown thrown in fur gud meshur, as befits my royal status.

“Yoo may now commence ta lionize me. 

 Flattery will gets yoo efurrywhere.”

"I declares for all to hear 

Right here in this Cat Blogosphere

 I have reached the end of my tether

And that shall be from now 'til forever"


Dani, it was brave of you to broach the subject.

Howlaylooya!