Monday, December 6, 2021

DANI HAS SOME CHUCKLES

 This is Dani in her Christmas dress for 2018.


As usual, Dani is in the wrong place at the right time.  Her Santa hat is obviously obscuring her PURRipheral vision.

"All I wonts fur Chrismouse is prey." says she.  
"Is wot I prays fur efurry nite."

You might want to take a look under the tree!

"Shur hope dat cat is feline furiendly" whispurrs Mousie.

"Yup -- we sure is fast furiends" chuckles Chuckles.
(Dani thought he deserved a real name.)

Looks like they're chips off the same block (one that has a McDonald's at the corner).






Friday, December 3, 2021

DANI'S HAVING A POT PURRY

 Dani's all over the place today.  

And no, she's NOT having a pot party.  Pot isn't her thing, but she'd never say 'No' to catnip.

Of course Pot Purry is my MEWtilation of the word:  POTPOURRI, which while it's known as a dried flower mix to scent your PURRSonals, can also refer to just about any mingling of miscellany.

Today, that's just what you've got!   And June of Zoolatry is lending us her PURRSpective as one of the PURRpetrators.

Allons-y!

"Dani Get Your Gun" and shoot 'em!

It's sort of like the movie "The Sixth Sense" where the main character doesn't realize he's dead.  Where are "Ghostbusters" when you need 'em?  Probably been slimed!


(A quote by Leo Tolstoy with an extra 'E' at the end)

I brought a bee for Dani and then I 'Let It Bee'.  I hope this will make her happy.   If not, next time I'll bring her a beetle.


No wonder the driver hit the won tons -- he can't see what's right in front of him.


Backstir just doesn't play fair.  He picked up a mess of beans from the local army mess to throw at Dani.  And all so he could continually berate her by yelling "Bean there, done that" behind her back!   I don't think Santa's gonna be bringing anything for Backstir at Christmas this year, do you?


And now for a little input from June.
"I AM da liddle input" says she.


Any kind of cast is anathema to cats.  Why it's tantamount to solitary confinement!



Tut, tut, tut ... June and Dani are both being PAWliCATly incorrect!  However, I think they are just joking around with each other, like good friends do.  They're having a lot of fun and it isn't even Christmas yet.

June's huMOM might regret telling her "not yet" when it comes to decorating even if she'd have to pick up all that sparkly stuff afterwards.   'Cause if June doesn't get her way, she could do something even worse posthoc  ...


"Clean up!!!" 



'



Tuesday, November 30, 2021

DANI: CATALYTIC CONFURTER

Dani is a catalyst for many things, but most of all catastrophes.  Below are but a few.  Now I'm not saying efurrything's her fault (especially not the basil -- you'll see), but let's just call Dani a drama queen and leave it at that.

OK, all aboard the rollercoaster!

jj

Looks like Dani tried to smuggle herself out of the store in her own shopping bag -- wearing all of the shoplifted items to boot!  Well, actually give credit to Dani for not stealing boots, but not for all the other stuff she pilFURed, of course.


Yes, anyone of the male PURRSuasion should heed this warning.  Reminds me, I'll have to put the MALE  MAN on the 'Watch Out!' list.


Yes, don't stress her out or those seams will fall apart fur sure.  Even worse, she may need a BREAK.


Here's a little explanation for the next one.  The Brits, Canadians and Aussies are all quite familiar with the classic British sitcom called "Fawlty Towers" starring the iconic actor John Cleese.  The owner/operator of the 10-room bed and breakfast is none other than a character named Basil Fawlty.

Fawlty's machinations in trying to resolve any problem that may arise consistently result in disaster, be it minor or major.  Hilarity thou art a car crash.

If you'd like to get a taste of the real thing, it's free on YouTube.  Just Google "Fawlty Towers YouTube".

As for the situation below, the first speech bubble on the right is Dani answering the question at the top.  The second speech bubble comes from the left and then back and forth one more time.  I only tell you this because my husband had trouble figuring it out.

It's a little bit like 'Who's on First'.  Boy am I ever showing my age!


Now here's an oldie and I included it today because when I saw it again after all these years, it made ME laugh!  This is Ann of Zoolatry's angel-cat Zoey, she with the snaggletooth (Zoey, not Ann).

I have no words -- I'm dumbstruck.


And finally I did a lookalike.  Ann's June kitty has very large eyes, so I paired her with the actress, Mila Kunis, who has the same exceptional feature except she's not a cat.

At first glance you may think my PURRceptions are off,  but take a closer look.  They are both brunettes.  Even without the wig June is a verifiable brown tabby (with white).  Then OK I enhanced June's eyelashes, but they only serve to accentuate her large greenish eyes.

Mila and June both have short, cute little noses.  The cleft in June's nose echoes the medial cleft on Mila's uppurr lip.  And last but not least, they both have pouty mouths.  June manages to achieve this without actual lips.  Now that's quite a feat!   And speaking about feet of the feline variety you may find this video both aMEWSing and relaxing.  Q THE MEWSIC!








Thursday, November 25, 2021

DANI AND HER THANKSGIVING CONUNDRUM

 I wasn't going to make a post for today, but then I thought why not give our American friends (in PURRticular) a giggle or a groan. Most are likely GROAN-ups, anyway.

We Canadians had our Thanksgiving back in October and this year it was a precedented disaster.  My son was supposed to come over for a turkey dinner, but cancelled because he sprained an ankle and wasn't physically able to manage it.  So if you knew my son (which you don't) you'd be aware of his run-on sentences which in some cases morph into run-on paragraphs, and then dissertations with nary a breath taken.  It's like a runaway train -- no breaks, get it?

Anyway the upshot was that my husband had to take over the dinner preparation because I was tied up on the phone, and he had never roasted a turkey before.  You'd think no real biggie, eh?

Several hours later when my son finally let me go, I went to check on things only to find that hubby was already carving the turkey.  I saw juices running out of the poor bird's stuffed cavity and they were PINK.

Bottom line is, it was too late to return the MEWtilated beast to the oven when most of its flesh was parted from its bones and the stuffing, having soaked in uncooked juices, was salmonella waiting for an unwitting victim.  However, because we were 'witting' it went into the kitchen waste recyle bin to fester. And the back end followed.  What a car crash, or in this purrticular case a car cass!

So I wish you all better luck on your day of thanks, and I also proffur some advice.

But first, here is Dani with her nod to the sacrificial bird.


The turkey had no idea about his fate and so was taken aback or GOBsmacked, as it were.  For those of you who may not be familiar with this informal British term, it means "utterly astounded or astonished".  I figure it's appropriate for a gobbler to be gobsmacked, especially when it learns how humans tend to gobble it up; stuffing it and its prepared stuffing into their eagerly awaiting gobs. And they then have the nerve to refer to the noble turkey as a gobbler!

Just ask yourself, who's doing the actual gobbling here?

So consider the plight of the turkey having to first listen to what could only be considered 'gobbledy-gook' all its life before it is summarily sentenced to a fate no creature in existence should have to endure. And to top it off (excuse the expression), they have no say.

I say:  "Let's talk turkey."



Pee Ess:  I couldn't leave it there, could I?  Not without showing you our precedent for disaster.  Witness our turkey for Christmas 2013:

We nicknamed it "Frankenturkey".



Enjoy!


Tuesday, November 23, 2021

DANI: ON BEING GUESTED AND GHOSTED

Dani's been wanting to find another kitty friend because she's real tired of Dada and I during this pandemic.

So today Dani has invited June from Ann's Zoolatry blog to be her guest star.  June is still a toddler, but Dani thinks she can help her along by teaching her efurrything she knows (O Noes!).

Apparently these little guys will eat just about anything that will go down their tiny throats.  So don't worry about hedgehogs competing for your food.  They're happy eating bugs (and the grubbier, the better).



 
Hi Gene!  Do you think you could come over and give Dani a lesson in COVID PURRotocol?
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!


Well, get a different job so you won't be a Tech Style anymore, 
and learn to ride a bike, willya?


And when you bite into it, it turns into a POP-over!

So now it's time to welcome June to Dani's blog.  June has never been a guest star before, so she's very excited about it.


Well, now June has gone all hyPURR on us.  If I didn't know better, I might think she was going to batter up all those bats and deep-fry 'em.  Take my advice, little one, and just bat your big, beautiful eyes at them.  Then you won't have to go to jail.



You'd be a natural at poke-her!


So now Dani has the great idea of introducing June to her angel-sisfur Domino who absolutely adores polka-dots.  So much so, that Domino has even taken up Dominoes.  And she wants to teach June how to play.  

Even with Domino's spotty record, she still earned her angel wings (which also have tiny, almost invisible dots).  However, they don't like you to gamble in PURRadise. That's why she visits Earth so she can still have a good game of Dominoes, and maybe make a little moulah on the side (for charity, of course).


So after meeting June for the furst time, Domino invited her to come over on Saturday for some tea, some dominoes, and of course for Domino herself.  After all junior June looks at Domino as being her mentor, especially when it comes to all things dotty.

"There is no dotted line I woodn't cross for Domino (eggcept fur the Pearly Gates).  I is much too yung for that"  says June after careful consideration.

Even the teaset has polka-dots! (Not surprising really.)
Well-spotted, June.


And don't worry about Dani.  She's got more than all the time in the world  -- infinity, in fact -- to catch up with Domino.  So now that Domino's gone back home, Dani can get to know June better.

Besides Dani's not really into playing dominoes, only in CATmunicating with her winged sisfur.  All is well that never ends.

So all I have to say about that is
SPOT ON!
☄️






-

Monday, November 22, 2021

DANI: OH BABY!

 Here Dani is literally (and litterally) a baby at around eight weeks of age.  Of course, being a cat, she took to the litter box with no problem.  It may be the only place where actual 'littering' is a plus.

So, I have been fiddling around with the new software that is compatible with my Apple iPad.  Come to think of it, Dani is pretty 'come-PAT-able' herself.

As a cost-saving measure I am trialing a bunch of different apps.  So instead of having one app that does everything you could ever want in the way of photo-editing, I have currently installed five smaller and cheapurr apps (don't worry, most of them have been under $5 apiece).

"I'mma good piece a' soft wear" interjects Dani.  "But I'm not cheap.  I fink all dat stuff yoo got wuz old, Mama. Itz kinda outta date -- like yoo."

Thank you for that interruption, Dani.  Keeping everything straight in my head isn't easy and this doesn't help.  Oh well, everyone already knows I haven't got my head on straight -- it truly is more than just a little wonky.  

As usual, I digress.

I have used the same photo of Dani for each of two effects.  


Dani loves the blazes out of this one!  I highlighted the orange patch of fur mid-forehead.

"I wuz sucha HOT BABE efun as a liddle kitten" says she delightedly.



This is a much tamer effect -- much more lovey-dovey even if it is kinda crumby.  You will note that her natural forehead marking still stands out even without sparks.

I'm finally making good use, too, of those Cookies that almost every business website wants you to accept.  I would call them 'bar cookies' because if you don't accept them they'll bar you from doing anything at all.

"As fur me" starts Dani "I doan evun like dese kinda cookies.  De only wuns I like is acktual cat treets."

So I guess we are in agreement that the kind of cookies that we don't like are a real nuisance.  They only let strange people target you for ads and spam mail.

Anyway, Dani is still showing the love.  If you're not gonna eat 'em, you might as well use them to send PAWSitive messages out to the world.


"I wud play ball wif anywun who giffs me dese kinda Cookies!  Got it?"

GOOD!




Friday, November 19, 2021

DANI: SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING OLD

 So, I've had a major setback.  My much-loved and aged computer has curled up in the fetal pawsition and I'm not sure if it's going to make it.  So I can't access my treasure trove of picture files right now.  I'm sure (well sort of) that they are backed up and can be resuscitated at some point, though the same can't be said for the PC.

Anyway, for now I'm using my iPad which has some of my more recent pictures, but the darn thing is so small it's hard to work with.  So here are my first efforts at making funnies.  I had to use different editing tools which takes time to learn and they didn't offer the flexibility I'm accustomed to.

In any event here we go with Dani starring upfront, as usual, with some surprise guests stars after that.  Just click on the images if you want to make them larger.

Have you ever thought of "One ringy-dingy, Two ringy-dingy"?

It's on the other side, you dingbat!



It's all a matter of degrees.
(Misogynists might want to skip this one)



Dani, don't be a loofah!



Now here's where we change over to our guest stars, some of whom you know.  These LOLs, as they called them at the time, come from my very own LOL-Spot, which I had from about 2010 to 2013.  So I am poaching from myself of olde.   I always asked for permission before using fellow cat bloggers' pictures back then.   I've been reading through them slowly and think I was funnier in the old days (when I wasn't so old).


To be civil, one must furst sieve ill from their brain.
This is Ann of Zooltry's angel cat, Maggie.



Looks like real BAA'd news for Kjelle Bus!

 This one is from Sweden.  Their blog ended in 2016 but it's still available to view.



It gives me the 'Willies' just thinking about it.

This is Paula Gregg's darling Truffle from "Sweet Purrfections".




This is a cat Gargoyle.  Dani says "I fink dis issa relatif ov mine cuz she's call'd Gar Goyle an' dey calls me Dani Goyle!  Isn't she jus' so pritty?"

Maybe she can help you keep an Open Door Pawlicy.