IS DANI A CAT OR A HUMAN?

 Dani gets upset with me sometimes because I always feel like I know what she is thinking.  And she constantly corrects me.  (See, there I go again!)

You see, Dani is a victim of 'anthropomorphism', the definition follows:

"Anthropomorphism is the attribution of human traits, emotions or intentions to non-human entities.  It is considered to be an innate tendency of human psychology." (Wikipedia)

 A simpler explanation for it is 'humanization'.

I think all pet owners are susceptible to this and their pets have fallen prey to it.  Even though it's a natural inclination, Dani tells me I take it to a whole new level.

Just look what she's had to put up with, right from when she was a tiny kitten!

"Mama startid off small (like me).  At furst it wuz jus' a swettah, but da swettah had feddahs an' a bilt in neckliss.  I didn't noes dis wuzn't normal -- I fawt efurrybuddy did dis."

"Now dis is ware Mama reely goes nuts.  Looks at dose feddahs on my head, an' dat perl neckliss an' a matchin' (well, sorta) purrse ta go wifs it.  She finks she's a fashun coordinatah or sumfin."

"I hates it wen she puts silleh hats on my head an' pretends I ackshully goes ta resterawnts. I finks I'm da wun who got da raw deal an' I doan mean sooshi.  An' den she has de ODD-ASSity ta put words in my mouf!"

"Mama decides I'm gonna be Scottish cuz dat runs in her fambly.  She hunts arownd fur all de ackcessories dat goes togeddah -- wot a waste a' time!  Besides I wuz born in Kwebec. 

Parlay-voo fronsay, Mama?"

Actually "Yes", I reply.  I learned to speak French when I worked for the federal government.

So Mama's good for something.

"Now heer Mama has reely gone beserk!  Not only has she giffed me a feasant feddah hat but she added a flyin' feasant, too.  An' becuz I hassa lepurred coat she put in da lepurred,  I gess she jus' fru in da tigah becuz it kinda matches dat purrse itz on toppa."

"O noes!  Mama maked me look like a fool.  I'm not supposta be a teddeh bear -- I fawt yoo fawt I wuz hooman!

Now, let me interject here.  Dani always graces our Christmas cards because it's a special time of year, and even cats like to get dressed up for the occasion, and play with the ornaments and such.  Nothing wrong with that, is there?

"Not if yoo wanna be dressed up like a Crismuss tree wif ornimints glooed ta yoor back!"

Dani also likes to celebrate New Years, starting on New Year's Eve, of course.

"If yoo says so" says Dani.

What a hullabaloo! says I.

"I doan efun noes wot a hullablue is"  she groans.  "An' ware's da catnip -- I doan drinks lickah.  I doan efun licks it.”

"An' tawks about dat anfropoor ... wotevah!  Acourse I doan eat chips an' needah duz chipmonks.  Dat's jus' Mama tryin' (an' I emfasizes TRYIN') to be clevah."

I guess you're not a chip off the old block then, Dani.

"Why is yoo da OLD block?" she asks.

And finally in another extreme example of anthropomorphism here's Dani having afternoon tea with Hello Kitty.  They each have their own pile of cookies."

"An' dat's a pile a' poo!" says Dani.

I guess I should let a cat be a cat then, shouldn't I? I ask.

And THIS is what cats do do!

THE END

(obviously)