DANI'S PLASTIC PREDICAMENT

Dani is very attracted to plastic.  It’s mostly plastic bags, packing materials and straws, though she’s been known to gnaw on other items that come her way.

What these things have in common is that they all have unfamiliar and beguiling smells which is what causes this attraction.  Investigation becomes an immediate necessity. Copious sniffing, licking, biting, chewing and stress testing are crucial to their analysis.

Witness:

SNIFFING 

The plastic bag looks like it has been used over and over again, so the combination of smells must be overwhelming. 

“Yoo mite fink I shud put my head in da bag fur closah screwtinizashun, but Mama tole me not ta doo dat cuz I cud suffocates.  I fawt suffistocashun wuz a good fing, but I guess not.”

Suffocation and sophistication are NOT the same thing, Dani — even though they can both be breathtaking.  We’ll save that for another time. 

LICKING

“Dis wun looks like candy” says Dani. “I doan like candy cuz cats can’t taste sweet.  Da only sweetish fing I luvs ta lick is stromberry yoGUT.”

At least the yogurt is good for the GUT, says I.  The bag could still taste of its previous contents, however.  It’s like a box of chocolates — you never know what you’re gonna get.

BITING AND CHEWING

“Dese liddle bags a’ air is fun.  ‘Cept wen yoo PURRforates dem dey makes a loud BANG!!!”

There’s more than one way to make wind, Dani, and you just discovered yet another.  No matter how you pass it, wind is always PURRcussive.

“Is good fur practisin’ my huntin’ skills doe cuz furst I hasta catch ‘em before I tears ‘em apart wif my claws an’ den gnaws dem ta deaf.”

I think you mean ‘death’ not ‘deaf’, Dani, though one may actually prefer deafness to suffering the rePURRcussions of PURRcussion.

STRESS TESTING

Dani loves bubble wrap, too, of course.  It’s a nice blend between plastic bags and air-filled packing.  It does require more pressure purr pop, however — but who said stress tests were easy?

“Not ta menshun dat itza two-fur cuz bubble raps mostly comes in boxes — an’ boxes is purrhaps my secund fafurite fing.  Furst I sitz down hard on da bubble raps an’ den I rolls around on dem ovah an’ ovah again.”

It has actually become one of the more POPular feline leisure activities according to recent polls.  How ironic that a Stress Test gives a stamp of approval for stress relief!

"Now dis is da LAST STRAW!" declares Dani.  "It's sumfin I kin no longah CHEWS ta doo."

Unfortunately, there is a much more serious side to plastics.  They are the bane of our planet’s lands and oceans.  They’re a danger to all life here on Earth.

As a result, Dani has pledged to give up her plastic addiction COLD TURKEY!

“Hot Stuff!  Who wonts ta eat plastic wen yoo kin has da turkey hole wif stuffin'?” she asks.

“I sure hopes turkeys doan evah go on de In Danejaw Spee-She’s List” says Dani with trepidation.

If we clean up the rubbish and stop using plastics, they will finally be OUT OF THIS WORLD.

Good Riddance!

Editor’s Note:  In my research for this article, I discovered unfortunately, that wild turkeys are already on the Endangered List. 😿🦃

 

Pee Ess:  Don’t tell Dani.