DANI: FELONIOUS FELINE OR PAMPURRED PUSSYCAT?

Dani's in trouble.

The cops are calling in their top milk splatter exPURRts to the 'seen of the crime'.  Once you’ve seen it, you’ll never be able to unsee it — even with your eyes closed.

From what I've seen there is plenty of evidence.  Someone has crushed the cereal to bits and splattered milk all over the place.  And there doesn’t appear to be any humans in the vicinity.

But the PURRime suspect is keeping mum. 

"Mum?"  asks Dani.  

“Yes, your Mum.  She seems to be missing.  What did you do with her?”

"She lock'd herself in da bafroom" says Dani.  "At first dere wuzza lot a screemin’ an’ den she musta felt flush’d cuz datz wot she did ovah an’ ovah again.”

Well, at least that's one mystery solved.  I’d flush myself down the toilet, too, rather than face this!

Once the milk splatter exPURRts arrived they took samples of the milk stains and snapped shots of them while the regular cops bagged the crumbs and swabbed Dani's mouth. 

However, Dani just ate it -- the swab that is.  "I is yoosed ta furballs" she says, though she immediately regrets the cotton mouth. 

"I jus' didn't cotton on to it." she said after throwing up on the carpet.  Oh well, what's one more splatter?

"Now that's what we call tamPURRing with evidence" counter the cops quite crankily.  And there's nothing worse than a cranky cop, especially when you've been caught milking it for all it’s worth.

So Dani was arrested for being a cereal killer, milk splatterer and evidently —  a tamPURRer.  It was a veritable crime sPURRee (or was it?).

Mama called her lawyer who arranged to get a bucket to bail her out.

Later in court, the judge dismissed the case right off the bat.  (Maybe that's why they call her 'batty'.)

"Hold on, here" says the judge.  "Dani's not the one who killed the cereal!  The real culPURRit is the farmer who cut down the wheat.  And as for spilling the milk, that's nothing to cry about. What a waste of time and taxpayer's money!"

So Dani was allowed to go home once more, but Mama made her cough up for a carpet cleaning (seems like karma to me!).

Now Dani wants to grow up and be a judge.  At least she has the right mindset for it:

Dani is looking forward to issuing 'gag orders' and indiscriminately wielding that gavel to shut efurryone up.  

Not everything is a crime just because you don't like it.

"Sumtimes reel justice, just is."